


Dead in the Water

by FangirlReader221



Category: Jurassic Park - All Media Types, Jurassic Park Original Trilogy (Movies), Jurassic Park Series - Michael Crichton
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Ian angst is the best angst, One Shot, Post-Jurassic Park (1993), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Song: Dead in the Water (Ellie Goulding), slightly poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 10:58:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20241736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FangirlReader221/pseuds/FangirlReader221
Summary: When you watch a movie, perhaps it’s a scary one, there is action, life-threatening situations, fear, and then it ends. As soon as they show you the characters are alive, the movie ends. They don’t show you what you’re supposed to do after something like that. Ian Malcolm suspects that’s because they don’t know how you’re supposed to move on. That’s something he’d have in common with them.(I do not own characters or events mentioned)  (Title and fanfic inspired by Dead in the Water by Ellie Goulding)





	Dead in the Water

Ian doesn’t know what to do. 

His whole life he’d always thought about what he’d do next. Then Jurassic Park happened. Stupid chaos theory. 

He has nightmares. They are horrible. He wakes up screaming, his voice hoarse, shouting for Muldoon to go faster and for Grant to get the kids. He wakes up covered in sweat and shaking, terrified until he makes himself sick. There are no good dreams left and he doesn’t know what to do about it.

Ian has flashbacks. He’s back in the Jeep with Doctor Grant and the T-Rex is coming. He has panic attacks; he can’t breath and he’s shaking and he’s not okay.

Malcolm is in the hospital the longest. They all left him. The rest go home and he is still in the hospital. He’s miles from home, everyone speaks Spanish, he can’t see his kids, and he’s too banged up to even do anything.

He’s helpless and hates it. He changes his fear into anger and motivation. He learns how to fight and how to shoot. He buys guns to keep in the upstairs closet just in case. Ian refuses to feel defenseless but it doesn’t cure his fear.

At least Ian met Sarah Harding. She laughs and talks all the time. They debate over extinction and invasive species and it’s nice. But Sarah doesn’t know the truth about the park. She asks him about it. She asks on the drive back from the university and during movie nights and on dates. He tells her but she doesn’t really listen. Not the way she should. Malcolm doesn’t know how to fix that. 

He tries to forget it. He pretends the park didn’t happen and he pretends he doesn’t have scars. But his nightmares rage and his leg aches like thunder beneath his skin. His eyes burn and his heart races. His hands shake so he cannot forget.

Dr. Malcolm chooses to talk about it. Now the world knows. He doesn’t mention the aftermath. Just the story that, in his eyes, needs to be told. He shares about the sacrifices of Arnold and Muldoon. The naivety of Hammond and InGen. He is honest and does what he needs to do because it makes up for what he’s done. It makes up for his unreliability and selfishness and for not taking his life seriously because after almost dying, he suddenly cares what people think of him. 

No one believes him though. InGen holds one interview and in a matter of months Ian Malcolm becomes a laughingstock. Everyone thinks he’s insane or a liar and he can’t decide which is worse. His reputation goes down the toilet and he doesn’t know how to stop it.

He can’t go out in public anymore. Reporters crowd his doorway so he can’t get inside his house. They ask if he’s crazy or about what happened on the island or if he knows Peter Ludlow. He has panic attacks as soon as he shuts the door. Ian doesn’t want to go out anyway. No one believes him and they mock him about it. He’s made fun of almost whenever he leaves so he doesn’t. Easy enough.

He's an embarrassment. The university doesn’t want the insane Dr. Malcolm so he’s removed. He has nothing to do and his career he’s cherished for so long is now over. He’d reached fame practically right after getting his PhD only to lose it all in four years and he doesn’t know what to do about it. 

A few times Malcolm tries to contact Alan and Ellie. They don’t answer and he doesn’t know what to do about that or even what he'd do if they did; he just wants to talk to someone who understands. 

He tells his kids he’s okay. He tells Sarah he’s fine. The words are dull and a mantra that has lost its meaning. 

Ian Malcolm died on Isla Nublar. He died and someone else left. 

Ian doesn’t know who he is anymore. 

He doesn’t know what to do. What’s he supposed to do? How does one recover from something like this and get back to the way things were. That’s all he wants. But they won’t go back no matter what he does and Ian doesn’t know what to do next. 

What do you do after something like this? 

Ian doesn’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> Thinking of what Ian Malcolm went through between Jurassic Park and the Lost World, and the character arc that took place at that time just like...I write a lot of fanfic about it. Those four years were horrible for Ian so I summarized it in a one shot. Also, I encourage you to listen to the song I named this one shot for because I think it fits Ian and it put me in the mood/gave me the inspiration to write this. Hope you enjoyed and God bless.


End file.
